"what do u think of parents raising kids to be peeping toms" said guy on bus 2 me
laying in bed listening to christian music, jealous of the hope they have for their life. also need to beat off, can i think about you?
someone shit in a solo cup and left it at the base of the stairs. fuck orlando dude.
I cut my penus on the lid.
soo I had sex last night and he wore a condom, pulled out sans condom. we looked everywhere and couldnt find it, even in my vag. so Im in the library at school and I googled it and it gave me "gentle digging" techniques, and sure enough, found it. ew. I'll be purchasing Plan B after class.
I'm so hungover i just sang the alphabet to see if "Z" comes after "W"
We made a late night liquor run, made margaritas and bloody marys and then retreated to opposite sides of the house to drink them. Alone.
You guys make me sad
You misspelled jealous there
Set off the fire alarm in our dorm at 2:30 am last night. 150 Naked people wrapped in towels shared a bag of popcorn with me as we watched the firefighters frantically search for my burnt popcorn in the building.
OMG THAT WAS YOU?!
He kept telling me how extraordinarily clean my ears were.
My neighbor caught me peeing on his rose bushes at 2 in the morning while wearing my Santa hat. My sex appeal has never been higher.
Well, I'm at the grocery store wondering whether I exist or not.
I wouldn't blame my organs if they just decided to quit working after this weekend
I try not to have friends with attractive fathers, it only brings my morals down.
It's always great when the guy I get pills from sends me an email that says "I know you will get clean it's going to be hard but I know you can do it"
Perfect attendance and not being drunk since Sunday. This is a new leaf if I've ever seen one
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