i jus pukd everywherw but i took a showr, come cuddle
First thing she said after sex was.. are you baptised by chance?
So my professor just changed my Final to 7:45am on May 6th. Shouldn't a Spanish professor understand the implications of Cinco de Mayo???
We are so drunk I just let him piss between my legs on the toilet. That's love.
You made a list of reasons why you should be on fear factor. You came up with 2 reasons: "I like fear" and "I am fear"
well right now he's telling us a story how he befriended a racoon
There was no way out of it, seeing as I left my photo ID right next to the vomit.
I had to step in when you tried to make it rain baking powder on my sister
Jim came in did 3 body shots of her she said "I like your tongue" and they left. I swear to god its deja vu he's done it before
She told me she gets scared easily and that I had to protect her. Then I made a condom joke that ended up making her cry... All bad dude
Im glad the only reason we got out of bed today was to get Halloween candy on sale.
It's 10:15 on a Wednesday night and my dick is covered in pop rocks. How's your Wednesday going?
Btw there's a hedgehog in my room. Don't get it high
I snuck out of his room and his roommate stopped me to tell me there was a condom stuck to my back
Just finished 151. Eating nutella off a spoon. Bring condoms.
Randomize
