Her body is shaped like a coke bottle...a two liter coke bottle
He kissed a someone with a penis
And then she started grabbing onto random guys legs, asking their names, and if they wanted to be friends... Haha, I love when the girls my ex's are dating are total drunken whores.
He was visibly upset that you'd rather eat nachos than have sex with him.
I just found a piece of glass in my ear from Saturday.
Piecing together the sordid story from witness accounts and photographic evidence, courtesy of Fcebook. My night included Mojitos, lighting the bar on fire and declaring myself the Queen of Nerds when I stole someone's flashing tiara. Woke up this morning with a velvet cape and plastic scepter to match. Mojitos are awesome!
Well, I made it thru a doorway, so I think things are going good.
I look like a bag of dicks so if you could ugly yourself up that'd be great.
We did hand stand push-ups while beer bonging. Its now a thing
Just remembered I said your cat looked delicious last night.
he rolled over in the morning and told me happy valentines day. i don't even know his first name.
YOU SLEPT WITH A GUY WHO HAS A BILLBOARD IN HIS HONOR?
Then you guys just all showered together...?
Dear Douchebag, I would just like to formally issue this fuck you. You will be receiving a letter in the mail soon. With all of your stuff.
The progression was banging a stripper banging an unemployed stripper banging a sexual entrepreneur quarantining with benefits totally fucking whipped. Get it right dude
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