oh vodka. i could write you a sonnet.
In America we eat man semen.
I'm picking out a half way decent top so if I get arrested I'll have a respectable mug shot photo. Always be prepared.
She compared sex to doing dishes."You scrub them until they're wet."
Just opened a bottle with my rape whistle. At least it's finally getting used for something.
What's the big deal? you guys fuck
3 times is my limit. I don't even want to know you exist after 3 times
I just realized the only way to play Edward forty-hands is commando in a skirt. This intelligence kick is really doing me justice.
A guy is going to be inside me and I'm gunna start singing "I am stuck on your penis, cause your penis is stuck in meeee!"
Um, would you be up for dick jousting? Stefanie is willing to pay 40 bucks.
I don't know if it is the Everclear or chemistry, but i think my brain is coming out of my ears.
I was so drunk last night I couldn't see faces, only from the shoulders down.
If Boring and Monotone had a love child, it would be this guy.
I feel bad for her. If you sacrifice and have a chubby husband I feel that you assume he's not going to cheat on you....
Nothing like being naked and confused and clutching a scented candle...at least I woke up in my own bed though.
Soo I'm in the trunk of a car drunk about to jump on trampolines. My life rocks!
Randomize
