so i told my doctor my symptons and she just shook her head at me
He wouldn't know what to do with his penis even if they made a "how to get a blowjob for dummies" guide
when the lights went off, all i could see was the glowing of the camera light in the closet... i got the fuck out of there so fast.
It feels like I've shaved away my winter coat and my vagina is going to freeze if I go outside.
They sat me on college avenue with a puke bucket and people were mistakenly throwing change in it. Got me enough money take a cab back to my apartment.
I just try to date guys based on what I need like I am trying to find an electrician now
You gays are geniuses
Who knows. Maybe the world would be a better place if more people sent their drug dealers thank you cards.
Just followed a blind kid around for 20 minutes to see how awesome his guide dog was. And he was pretty fucking awesome
Yeah i like want to be friends with him. And if we have sex in the physics library well thats fine with me
Ugh. My life is a never ending cycle of bad decisions and taquitos.
Typically a man doesn't buy a woman a drink in hopes of her laughing at his penis, but no one said I was normal.
The wedding is over. Operation sleep with my step-sister has officially begun
Apparently last night I was doing back bends for the guy making my easy mac because clearly it wasn't easy enough for me.
i woke up on the third floor, naked in a closet.
Saw my doctor at the bar. He bought me a drink. I think he was looking up my medical record on his phone because he suddenly had to go. syphilis continues to fuck with my life
Randomize
