How the fuck did you go into work today? You are a better man than I. I couldn't even show up to being unemployed on time.
There's too many weed/neon/felt Sublime posters in this room and someone just put on a Hunter S. Thompson movie. Save me, now.
It smelt so bad when i tried biting off her underwear that i didn't want to touch with my mouth
Took an aderol, wrote a differential equation for solving volume of flow of a rectangular channel with change in depth, then masturbated for the 6th time.
Bookstore boy and I went out, he came back here and I tried to fool around and he respects me too much blah blah I'm a predator.
I am so 35 right now. Listening to REM, drinking red wine, and crying over an article about ecstasy in oprah magazine.
I want to do something romantic. Like gargle champagne before I put your dick in my mouth.
It's official, no more fat chicks or even close to that, my balls are 2 dimentional
I just opened my filing cabinet at work for the first time in months. It looks just like my pantry: nothing but peanut butter and whiskey.
Nm. Exausted and my teeth just fell out again
some girl at the bar told me my beard would tickle every inch of her body till she joy puked her face off.... that was so random and odd i just had to buy her a drink for having the guts to say it to me. WTF
I'm working on finding a bottomless situation. Both pants and mimosas.
I've reached the gravitational age where it's very hard to get my face and my boobs in the same shot without some kind of yoga involved .
I just got stoned alone and repierced my nose. don't ever tell me I'm unaccomplished
I just got stoned by myself and am eating cookies so I'm right there with you
He made her leave because she liked Top-Ramen better than Maruchaun. He's my hero.
Randomize
