so when i dont talk to her she talks to herself...idk whats worse
Talk about the highs and lows of a night out: had a threesome, then got robbed at knifepoint.
I heard about the break up and if you need a place to stay my vagina is open for you 24/7
I'm in Burlington Coat Factory. This place'd be great if you were on E. There're so many textures...
I'm kinda hoping that if I rub the right object, a genie will come out
You hid from a cop under some guy's canoe on his lawn.. It didnt work
what's the appropriate greeting for someone whose bed you've had sex with someone else in?
I CAN CONTROL MY GERBIL WITH MY BREATH. HE FOLLOWS THE SMELL. PROBABLY WOULDNT BE AS EXCITING IF I WASNT HIGH OFF MY ASS, BUT STILL
Two days later and my throat is still sore. That bong is a double edged sword.
Do you think the police would frown on me opening a psych drug pharmacy on the side? Just to dispose of my drugs without polluting the water supply! It is for the animals!
She moaned the name on my fake id during sex, that or she's cheating on me with someone named Victor
do you think there's enough of the fabric you gave me to make a crop top for a cat?
not that i'm not about exploiting men for money
She did what?
Who. The correct term is she did who.
Did you see him? The correct term is definitely what.
the last thing i heard from her was "i wanna get fucked by a stranger" and i haven't seen her since
Woke up at 8am and asked if she had coffee.... She handed me a shot of tequila...
Randomize
