she looked like the bat from fern gully.
hickory dickory dock, please dont tell me about your cock
I mean thanks for the bj but i wanna forget everything that happened last night between 11 and 5
Thank you contacting dial-a-boner. Currently, our boner is on a run to service another client. You can either wait 2 hours for service, or share concurrent service with the current client.
Soggy bong water carpet is the worst kind of carpet.
What is the proper Father's Day protocol when you're sleeping with a guy who has kids?
That's okay I'm failing college because I'm to busy giving over the pant handjobs in class..
Ive got small boobs, but they sure do like to pop out and party with the big dogs.
Do you remember coming over and asking for toast and then singing that yeah toast song very loudly while you were dropping my bread all over my kitchen?
I’m really regretting these suede pants.
My co-worker accidentally texted me regarding the threesome him and other one are planning.
Why is everyone giving me a hard time for drinking?!
Your in the library.
Today I saw someone riding a horse on the sidewalk by aldi when I went to walmart. Old town road was playing on the radio. It was perfect.
Tonight I totally got eaten out in the old school photo booth in the mall. Will send you pics of the photo reel asap
Her pegging playlist is all heavy metal so stay away if you wanna keep your ass intact
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