guy in front of me on the bus did 12 yrs, hes teling me about how to knife fight
oh there is nothing like the 1st beerbong of the school year
I was so high I couldnt even listen to music i was terrified of the potential knowledge i would gain.
I thought I hit my peak drinking in college. Just finished first day on Wall Street. College was nothing.
Is snow just God skeeting all over the place??
Yes. Yes it is.
I decided that I do the same thing when i'm drunk with every guy who has a girlfriend...lecture them on how bad cheating is, then hook up with them. I'm like good cop, bad cop.
Just hit a cone using a lit sparkler. Tastes like I might die but it was magical.
Vaginas creep me out. I'm disgusted by the look of them. I wonder if this is what having an ugly baby is like: you have to take care of it and love it but it just hurts you on the inside to look at it.
This is the second girl that said she wanted to fuck me while wearing a clown nose. Fuck online dating
This Pinterest wedding planning is a good distraction. I'm great at this, my imaginary wedding is beautiful
Is it completely inappropriate to base my morning after pill purchase on if they sell coffee or not?
YOU LEFT MY FUCKING BRA OUTSIDE OF YOUR HOUSE AND NEVER TEXTED ME.
He's my favorite late night booty call. He lives next to a Wendy's.
I think I had Hypothermia but was too drunk to notice.
so i might have slept on your bathroom floor last night...
Randomize
