I pretty much can't stop smiling when I talk to you. Even when you talk about disease and infectious diarrhea.
i just heard one Asian kid say to another, "i bet if i could get into Harvard i could get laid all the time, my brother lost his virginity the first night there."
I think my goal in life now is to be a Trending topic on Twitter after I die.
My grandma put hard boiled eggs on her lasagna. I'm not high enough for this.
he obviously didn't care that i was sleeping and dreaming about ellen degeneres knitting me a christmas sweater.
Honestly, I don't care if the only reason she gave me her beer was because she was bisexual and wanted to touch my vagina. Beer is beer.
GET THE DICK OUT OF YOUR MOUTH AND CHECK FACEBOOK.
Faces of meth called, they want their look back.
Let's just say I've never been so continually aware of my nipples before.
me blowing you awake is the exact turn i want our relationship to take
idk but i can hear her singing "Call Me Maybe" really slowly and emotionally in the shower right now
So I just crossed my legs and I was like what is this lump on my leg? Oooh its my underwear from last time I wore these jeans...
COME HERE AND I WILL SUCK YOUR COCK UNDER THE LIGHT OF THIS BEAUTIFUL ELECTRICITY
I'm armed with nothing but $4 lip gloss gum and my phone. Ready to take on the fucking world.
Who did he bring home?
Idk. But did you see her shoe choice by the stairs, I'm really not expecting anything great.
Randomize
