A lady just asked me if you "seat yourselves" here at qdoba. I told her yea and she has been sitting at a table waiting for someone to take her order for 25 mins.
Just role played anchorman. And yes, I did take her to pleasure town.
doctor said mango vodka does not count as my daily servings of fruit. damn.
when she said she's going upstairs to put her "play clothes" on, I knew either she was a pervert or a kindergarten teacher. Either way, I wasn't going to leave. She's a pervert by the way.
just found my diary from when i was 14. i demand a drinking game of this.
there is way too much butter on my body for this to be okay
we've decided to start cutting you off when you can't figure out how to work an ipod.
Just say you're the husband at the front desk to get in. She's in room 15 at the ER.
what? who is this?
oh no, don't get me wrong.. she IS really pretty. If you are in to horses or Sarah Jessica Parker.
I called him and he said hell call me back hes in the middle of his kareokee song he was out by himself and his dog
I've come to the conclusion that Jesus and 2013 are haters.
So I'm texting her. How do I steer the conversation toward "I honestly would be fine never seeing you again"?
She gave me a boner for the first time in 9 years.
Two of my dealers just made friends at this party. Do you think one will be pissed if I buy from the other or should I just go 50/50?
I'm just glad you didn't end up in Staten Island
I woke up naked holding a taco. My ass couldn't even make it to my bed let alone Staten Island
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