what do kids with lesbian moms do for father's day? like do you talk about it? is it awkward? do you get the butchy mom a card?
he was like "finding out that arrested development was cancelled" bad
he wont speak to me right now because i told him it must suck knowing he'll never be as good as edward cullen..idiot.
She keeps stunt undies in her bag, 2 sizes too small. She leaves them behind so the guy thinks he was luckier than he was...
It's 9:30am and I've already blown three loads. Reason #101 I love 25 year old girls.
She fucking ripped my chandelier out of my ceiling. How does that make her a keeper?
He cut part of his finger off. It was a consolation blow job.
I think we should roll her a welcome back, sorry your godmom's on life support blunt.
the potatoes in the margarita machine wasn't the breaking point. its when he turned on the stove and put a bunch of bottle rockets on it that i knew the night had prematurely failed
That boy needs some memories to take back home with him
Oh god I want to come home! They have an air raid siren here that alerts their neighbours across the desert it's time to come over on atvs and drink.
I miss you, too. It's hard to sleep without anything licking my head.
I just watched videos of people getting puppies and crying, I cried too. Definitely still drunk
Some nights you just end up digging your mcdouble out of the trash and eating it. it happens.
This friendship isnt goin to work if you dont respond to my drunk texts
Randomize
