Damn. That makes sense
I know im like the sherlok holmes of sexual problems
dude, my own friends sent me home from a party last night. real cool assholes. real cool
the dude from the bar called to tell his mom about me immediately after we finished PLEASE COME GET ME
you make it seem like sunflower seeds and pinot grigio are not in the food pyramid.
doing lines of blow through a tampon applicator in the study lounge at 7am so i can finish an italian composition that was due a week and a half ago...such a good student.
So Ryan had to wash the dishes. His solution: take a shower with them. I'm never eating at his house again.
There's nothing like puking in the airport on the way TO Vegas. Something tells me i pregamed a little too hard.
Dude, she literally stopped, mid fuck said "I want soup" got off my dick and make top ramen.
Your cum is still running out of me. I pity the next person that tries these jeans on....
i think that after ALREADY drinking that much, the tube shots may have been a bad idea.. i mean afterall, i did wake up and find my cell phone IN the bonfire the next morning.
I have a very important question for you: what are some good rules to have if we want to turn the nfl draft into a drinking game?
Her dad high fived me on the way out the door. Not the reaction i expected after she came so loud.
Good, I would never sleep with your boyfriend , or send you an edible arangment
It's like all the guys I keep around if I wanna have sex with all got mad at the same time. I guess I'll get out my vibrator again.
Lost my anal v card with Peter Thiel's RNC speech on in the background. Unbelievably appropriate
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