it was nice. we just kind of hung out. she didnt even mention the farting incident.
My roommate and I had a nyquil contest. The nyquil won.
Who tried to make mustard cubes with the ice cube tray?
Come home. Power Hour by yourself is only fun for the first 10 minutes.
How dare you send me a picture after midnight that isn't porn. You know the rules.
Tip of the day: Don't ever send a bootycxall at 3 in aftnoon. No one will respond n u'll just feel fooolish.
She walked home carrying a six pack of beer and someone elses cat
SHE BETTER HAVE BROUGHT BACK MY FUCKING COUCH CUSIONS OR SHES GUNNA GET IT.
to improve your porn experience, just imagine a slow speaking older English man narrating it all like a Nature documentary
I just want to get drunk and wake up on Wednesday
Did I run into a tree or get punched in the face?
Both.
You think he will forgive me for the paper being a week late if I bring him a beer?
...it's a 9am class...
Her hookup left his underwear and shorts in the dorm last night... What he was wearing when he left, we may never know.
I'm really sorry I hooked up with your student on the dance floor..
I'm going to book club and then I'm going to get laid. Being in your 20s ain't so bad sometimes.
I've never had someone have to dis-arm themselves before I sucked their dick prior to that
Randomize
