I pretty much can't stop smiling when I talk to you. Even when you talk about disease and infectious diarrhea.
They thought "watering it down" meant adding more vodka
Just saw all the pictures from the party. I'm wearing a different shirt in every single one.
Hey that girl we tagged team last night invited me to her birthday on Facebook, remind me to be sick that day.
Sometimes I love sober logical me. She makes rare appearances but when she does she shines.
And after we debated politics. My dream come true: naked, just got done having great sex with a hot mixed guy, talking about why social welfare programs are a bad idea
I can feel my teeth in 4 dimensions. I shouldnt be this high at 8 in the morning.
Can you technically cross something off your bucket list if you don't, per say, remember it....?
I know you are gonna wanna ask a lot of questions but when we are home I need to cover your face with deli meat and photograph it
I JUST LIKE FLANNEL, NOT VAGINAS! OK?
I yelled "NO FLEX ZONE!!!" at the guy that thinks it's cool to take off his shirt at the party then proceeded to puking
I totally just pulled my thong out of my purse at the grocery store. Oops.
Btw I thought it was impossible to use up 48 bottles of patron in one night but I was wrong...
It's not even noon yet and I just fucked my professor's son in the psych lab..it's gonna be a great day.
Watching South Park, doing sit-ups and drinking tequila. In other words, my night is going pretty good.
Randomize
