I was so drunk last night I wanted to download a Busta Rhymes album.
last night he was wasted watching Entourage and changed everyone in his phone book to LLOYD!!!!
vicodin is the reason why I believe in magic
When I say rough sex, and show you scars from past encounters, pulling my hair a little IS NOT GOING TO CUT IT. And he just doesn't understand.
Oh shit. There are penis maracas
i feel like the wall was a canvas for his penis.
Hi Jessica this is Jessica and I am texting you and were taking lime shots and it's fantastic and I broke your elbow and I love you xo
tequilla shots with my grandparents? christmas visiting just got so much better
"Wait, who's gun did I have?" Moments when you re-examine your life choices.
That's the fall semester you first snorted drugs off my ass I think
It's midsummers eve. A.k.a. come over so we can get drunk and wear leaf crowns
She ran from her surprise party screaming "I'm not ready for an intervention." Yeah, the girl has a problem.
I will show up on your front porch in a wet t shirt and some mac and cheese
You know more about his cock specs than his childhood. Proud of you
I just took a picture of Austin's dick wearing a hat. Except its not a hat it's a DayQuil cap.
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