***** fucked a guy with one hand last night
I mean roof. it goes up. its important day. you should recongziw it.
You're drunk. Make complete sentences.
It's not luke its my birthday or anything. Mike, understand.
She kept screaming "yeah! You pick up my books!" the whole time. . .
I have discovered something important. The trick to making food taste better is not always 'more hot sauce'.
I imagine anything that isn't a dilldo attached to a jackhammer, powered by a generator won't be amazing enough for you
Handle of 100 proof captain dressed like a pilgrim here we go
He was very impressed that you could put your hair in a ponytail by yourself while throwing up.
I just went to pick up my pigeon from your house. You should be getting a picture soon
Also, I might need your help for a prank involving a hand puppet, a coke bottle, double-sided tape, and my dick...
I knew I'd like her from the moment she supported me messing around with my co-worker on my lunch break
His dog was laying on the bed and he said we could have sex as long as we didn't disturb his dog. My life is pathetic
I got myself off in the shower last night for the first time ever! I just looked like I was playing a game of twister.
I HAVE TOO MICH DICK TALKING TO ME IDK WHAT TO DO.
All right well I’m making her sugar cookies and sleeping with her husband tonight. Just another manic Monday
On the brightside we know now that empty pringle cans are accepted at mcdonalds as cups.... Screw people who judged us, we saved a buck
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