I would kick you in the vagina but I'm afraid I would lose my shoe.
Don't really want to talk about it. You were right. She had a whole jar of toenail clippings on her nightstand that she chews on "when her fingernails are too short." Direct quote.
CAN CRIS ANGEL JUST LOOK NORMAL FOR ONCE?!
just did the walk of shame by his grandma. what the fuck is an old lady doing up at six am?
stranger just walked up to the fridge at the party, took the hawaiin punch out, drank it straight from the bottle, looked at everyone who stared in awe and said "im fucking thirsty" and put it back.
You know that hot fire fighter I fucked yesterday? Well him and two other guys are killing the fire on my stove. Awkward.
I have only been in this city 3 nights and there are already 4 bars I can never go back to again.
he threw up all over himself while laying down.. it was like watching old faithful, but with noodles and vodka
Just threw up at the bar from the heat. Fun change of pace.
If you ever find a dick that big chop it off and bring it to me.
FYI your bra is now hanging in the hallway as a trophy.
WHAT GOOD IS APPRECIATING IF NOBODY'S NAKED
I just masturbated while watching Say Yes to the Dress
This is what my life has come to
he just ran into my room in his giant penis costume yelling "supercock to the rescue"... I am still in total shock
I know you’re not my dad, but you’re someone’s dad. You’re also like a second dad to me as well. And one who I send nudes to as well. Happy Father’s Day
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