My t9 writes chubies instead of bitches.
either way. win, win.
And she was only 16?
You say that like it's a bad thing.
I asked him how he was going to celebrate tomorrow and he said "tits, clits, and bong hits"
he made me scream out "#24" while we fucked...no more football players
It's an open bar on a yacht... I'm going to drown.
They're not that bad of drunks, they come back to the vehicle with more stuff than they went in with, so its a profitable venture.
Had a booty call cancel on me tonight. Said he hurt his back. So this is what single and 30-something is like. Suck.
I wish I cared about making my vagina as presentable as you do.
if i ever wake up in the morning and don't feel a boner in my asscrack then this relationship is over
By cross-referencing our messages & her Twitter feed, I've deduced that she was eating spaghetti the whole time we were sexting.
I have lots of feelings today, but drunk is my favorite.
You cannot meet up with him at the tailgate, his parents are there. What are you going to say "Hi I'm the one who fucks your son, can I get a cheeseburger?"
So high I legit spent 20mins in the shower just holding my tits cuz they feel bigger than normal.
He asked the waiter, at 6:40 am, drunk, if they served alcohol. After he said no, he's like 'well, I guess we can eat then.'
He had me sit on his face until I begged him to stop, then held me there 5 minutes longer. I rested my head on his chest, told him I needed time to recover....and slept for 6 hours. By the time I woke, he was already at work. I just sent him a countdown times until his shift is over.
Randomize
