Guys are so much hotter at OU. Come my mating season, I am flying south like the geese in the wintertime.
i walked into the first stall,, but there was no paper, so i'm in the other one. a little kid is in the one without paper now and is making a lot of noise. curious how this'll turn out for him.
He practically bottle-fed me Jameson, like I was a baby chimpanzee on those nature specials.
i'm pretty sure the only people calling it "sexting" are ones who don't actually do it
all i know is that i listed him in my phone as 'vagina cookies.' that can only be a good thing.
It's like bringing a chick home from the bar the night before and waking up to thinking you are about to go another round... Just to wake up and find she's already left...
It was his birthday and he drunkenly offered me Portillo's and diamonds in exchange for a snap chat of my boobs. Even sober it seemed like a good idea at 3 in the morning.
I felt like... 50% confused and 50% like a slow roasted flip flop.
So somehow today's lecture on the immune system turned into me having to stand up and explain female ejaculation to the class.
The stripper told Tom to sort his life out
i just realized I haven't been laid all summer. So sad. What a waste of a perfectly good vagina.
I accidently sent a dick pic to the group chat with her family. Right after they all said it was a pleasure having me for dinner. Wana drink with me?
I thought I'd never say this, but if I had to choose between these cookies and sex, it would be these cookies
I love you but this is the first Saturday I have ever spent at the police station. And where are my boxers?
I rewired his car so that every time he hits the gas the horn and the OnStar turn on every time he hits the brake the panic alarm goes off.
Randomize
