super hot butfun
Oops. What a difference a comma and a space make.
i'm home, then i'll come over
ightttt gangstaaaaaaaaaaaa
nvm.
Lonely and bored. Am I allowed to play Dance Dance Revolution by myself?
im six kinds of drunk right now
Dude you have to stop using "I eat good pussy" as a pick up line
he's legally blind and likes the sound of my voice, good enough for me.
So apparently when he was telling people he was in Alaska for 6 months he was actually in jail
Wednesdays are like the thursdays of tuesdays... Drink time
Man, I thought my dick was gonna fall off.
Dude, I didn't even think they made slap bracelets anymore. You okay?
Do you know what's great about Canada?..... There will always be a Tim Hortons on my walk of shame route
Mike is so stoned. I just heard him quietly mutter to himself "rock a piss" as he walked down the hall to the bathroom
I woke up with a russian doll attached to my necklace and a post-it note with "keep babushka safe" written on it. Fuck vodka
Can't decide if this guy is hot or if I'm just bored.
Sex is clearly the solution either way.
Tequila is never to blame. We all make good choices under tequila
My one night stand ended up seeing me the next morning... For my interview. Guess who got a job.
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