Are we in a gay sports bar?
you think the cum will come out of moms black shirt?
i sleep in a fine layer of vodka and semen. i don't know that that would appropriate for a pajama rally.
are you excited because you wanna see me or because you wanna get laid?
bc i get to see you. naked.
Somehow ended up at a stranger's bridal shower. Everyone else is already drunk.
The guy in 209 is masturbating with the door cracked again
Don't let her tell you any different. She licked the balls of my hamster for that $100. It was a group bet. She won.
God damn him and his understanding ways and little hip muscle things.
sometimes after I smoke and the high has gone away...the high will come back like three hours later for a brief yet gripping ride.
that's usually when I end up in someone's house, having sex with someone else, while that someone's roommate makes us mozzarella sticks.
Strip club for my birthday. And none of this discrimination shit. We're going to a guys one and girls one. Go get your singles.
We left his house because I forgot how to drink water, I was just holding it in my mouth and then spitting it out, needless to say I don't remember the sex.
im pretty sure the interns at this hospital have gotten hotter
I was thinking we could get together and exchange gifts, and by gifts I mean orgasms.
Just saw 4 of my students at Denny's at 4am on a Tuesday. We all pretended not to see each other, as we are all clearly tipsy and/or stoned. Class is in less than 4 hours. Either i'm getting too old for this shit or they're starting on the road to crazy-town much earlier these days.
The party pretty much ended once she shit on the couch
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