That's intense
we both passed out while playing beer pong, woke up in the morning and continued to play coffee pong to cure our hangovers
can't decide if i want to get drunk or coked for this harry potter thing.. it is kind of long
aren't you going with children?
We walked through the hotel lobby in slow-mo taking huge steps because we were astronauts, and astronauts obviously can't be drunk.
I had a dream that I had 21 friend requests. it was the best day
Im a photoshop master, i successfully reduced the size of the pupils of all the girls I made out last night with to prove they were not that drunk. So glad the camera goes home with me.
does anyone know how to get red sharpie out of a white cat?
Chick stood right next to me in the elevator. Like she had the whole elevator and she stood right next to me. So I farted.
Protocol on turning down a date from someone in the House of Representatives?
Not that you went to little darlings at 3am. But that you checked in on Facebook. C'mon bro. You're better than that.
My way of showing team usa support, bronze: handy silver: bj gold: home run. God, I'm patriotic
I wanna just rip ass and see his reaction but i bet itd be better to shatter that illusion when hes drunk
So I said "fuck it" and made myself a sandwich
welp,tonight ive reached new levels. by new levels I mean,i showed some guys my boobs for water. on your tab.. the most pointless thing ive ever done. either we should hang out way more,or never again.
I'm sorry you had to knock him out on your birthday. But that also means I won the bet that you'd hit someone so you owe me 40. dollars
Randomize
