HIV tests are more positive than that guy
Girls gone wild is like the hills, except sexy and it doesnt suck
There is no way to make a throwing up smiley so just picture it....
you puked in the cab and all over yourself and tried to convince the cabby it was there already when he got upset... then you puked again. not too convincing are you
She touched you, you're now contaminated for 48 hours. Please watch out for rashes, hives and STDs as she's known to have all three.
then he compared my vagina to a dishwasher. A DISHWASHER?!
Im trying to find an appropriate gift to your mom for getting both you and your sister on birth control within a week, any suggestions?
By the way, I got bored last night and just started putting my balls on every object in your room. One at a time.
Don't. You get on the 18 year old. I'll get on the 38 year old. Together we will bridge 2 decades of cock.
I'm at work. It's margarita night. Someone literally just shouted "MURICUH!"
God bless us, everyone.
this year we will have multiple halloween identities. lesbian couple meets brian and stewie
I'm having salsa con queso and a leftover half-drank/flat red bull for breakfast. Nothing you propose doing today would be a downgrade.
I think Facebook knows you fucked me. All of a sudden I get everything you do in my news feed.
I know I'm moving in six days but getting wine drunk and laying in bed just sounds so good right now
I'm officially disproving the fact that a hoe never gets cold bc this hoe is COLD.
Randomize
