Eww. Jon Gosselin got both his ears pierced.
He looks like a bad one night stand.
im so hungover...we just watched The Perfect Storm and i got seasick
I wanna get FUCKED up and fail the piss test at my eval so they send me to detox and give me suboxone... Is that bad?
No, I'm not keeping her! I can't become an adulterer and a dog stealer in the same 24 hours...
If we get out of this alive, I'm never going to a Denny's at 3 am again.
So essentially hes paying me $150k/year for the rest of his career to not have sex
SERIOUSLY? WTF! why cant I find a super hot, super gay, super conservative christian NFL player in need of a beard?
Dude she flew me 1000 miles down to see her, broke up with me 7 hrs after arrival, and kicked me out with a week left til I fly home. Thank god college taught me how to shack up
I plan on being naked for at least 2/3 of the wedding.
At what point lastnight did a lens fall out of my glasses and nobody tell me?
I just wanna go somewhere and not be judged for wearing spandex shorts that make my ass look like a slice of fucking heaven. Is that so much to ask??
Woke up this morning naked, wrapped in a bath mat with a wad of singles on the table. I'm calling it a win.
What the hell do you have that is more important than a GIANT WATER SLIDE?
Thanks for that golden cinnamony goodness that flowed from your fake tits last night haha
Dude fuck drugs. It's 4am and I'm eating mushroom ravioli fantasizing about jumping on a trampoline
Dude on the shuttle bus eating a Butterfinger and watch porn on his phone and doesn’t give a fuck who knows
We need to get on his level
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