are u sure the monkey wasnt drunk too
She is a fish and this place is a barrel. I can play this game.
5 Four Lokos being cheaper than a case should be illegal.
I just took a bite of a bagel at school and it tasted like weed. If I am high for my test in 2 hours I'm gonna kick someones ass
I keep finding coffee grounds in my vagina
I'm pretty sure there was a language barrier but he knew what "harder" meant.
Chuck job is nothing more than to be my dick stand when I'm too drunk to hold it while pissing
You're fucking beautiful as shit and we should have loving sex...
I legitimately had a champagne shower last night at a rave. I was also carrying around two bananas in my pockets like guns. Drunk doesn't even. Begin to explain My night.
I'm going through a really dark time right now
I don't want to hear it man. I just jerked it to a pic of my ex wife in a bikini. Buck up
If you don't turn up on horseback dressed like a highwayman I am not having sex with you today
he keeps various drugs in his kitchen cupboard like groceries. that is my new life goal as an adult.
FUCK WHALES
I'm gonna make out with this 38 yr old. Mark my words. I don't even have daddy issues.
I’ve jerked off three times and taken five shits already today. Being hung over in your 40’s is a fucking roller coaster.
Randomize
