Its okay if i dont like him.his junk is just too good to resist.model penis,lame guy.
He left the bathroom door open so i would hear him masturbate in the shower to make me feel guilty for not putting out but it just turned me on cause i like guys masturbating. weird?
I put my bosses number in my phone as "Do not call," I shouldve known my drunk curiosity would overcome any desire I had to keep my job.
again?
just realized the sink is the perfect height to piss into never cleaning the toilet again
not allowed to tweet this cos she's following me but i definitely just got head in a stairwell of the university of chicago. wanted you all to know.
wait a second... your telling me you want me to take you to the bank at 10 on a tuesday so you can buy a blow up pool and fill it with beer?
yes... and buy you lunch
Ordered weed last night from the delivery service, and who showed up...my old real estate broker. He said, "this is less stressful." Duh.
Just remembered i had an ordained minister bless my booze last night.
banged a milf last night. she left right after cause of parent teacher conferences this morning. victory.
How hard is it to grasp the concept of 'I lost an impromptu saber bout and so I have to make a macaroni map of Soviet Russi, including Kazicstan'!?
I need to see you idiots before I go back to school. But we shouldn't snort Crown Royal this time.
He gave me a script of norcos and touched my balls so overall it's been a good day.
I hope April is a better month for dicks. March has been very disappointing.
one of my coworkers asked me if I was PMSing today...... excuse me sir, but it is none of your business as to what my uterus is or is not doing right now. fucker.
and yea, I'm PMSing.
Just to let you know we went to the circus yesterday...in case you didn't remember
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