i need a lesbian romance or unplanned pregnancy for some spicein my life.
Some dude at the gas station right now is buying a 30 rack of beast and a can of cat food. Happy Thanksgiving.
you drank 3/4s of your half gallon of vodka, made a fort out of the kitchen table, and actaually had sex in in it.
after he came i started crying. just to fuck with his head.
Talking about the game in the closet with a banana wearing sunglasses.
There are lots of gay asians. This is better than i was expecting
I'm having a staring contest with a raccoon.
Where the hell are you
He's winning.
he told me it was like eating gods vagina.
I ripped the door frame off last night too. Just remembered.
I am compiling a playlist that reminds me of all my best sexual encounters. It shall be called THE MUSIC OF MY VAGINA'S PEOPLE
She pretty much spent NYE measuring dicks, trying to decide which one to take home.
the kid next to me in math class is drawing gay porn. it's good, but that is beside the point
My arms in a cast, how am I supposed to have sex with only one hand?
more importantly I need two hands to eat pie
We are totally like Jim and Pam, except ya know, drunk and not together anymore.
All i want from a relationship is to get drunk watch pirates of the Caribbean and have sex
Randomize
