Running into every girl no one would hook up with here at rick's. Typical.
when i got to my bed there was a handwritten note that said "wash the sheets." sleeping on the couch.
There is no point in being painfully greyhound thin if you are then going to dress like it's raining in 1992.
bio was interesting today. swabbed my mouth to see what the cells where, ha. found a sperm cell. he was just that awesome
I just realized that there are baby oil soaked hand prints on the wall over my bed. Last night was a good night.
He cheated on me in real life. I can cheat at words with friends.
Okay, who took a picture of their pubes shaved into a dragon on my phone and made it the background?!
Come through the front door when you get here.
Right now I'm so wasted I can't determine whats a door and a window.
I don't think I will ever be as happy about anything as this man next to me on the bus eating Taco Bell.
I jammed my finger giving him a hand job. Don't ask how, I'm still trying to figure that out.
Woohoo! Instead of a pregnancy test you can buy me a burrito
Well, I can now cross "dirty drunk homeless hobo" off of my bucket list of people who have been successful wingmen for me. North Carolina is getting weird.
My mom found your leather pants in our guest room. She doesn't want to know why they are there, she just wants to know if you want them washed.
"You can have sex in my class, just stay quiet. I don't like noise." My professor... Shall make for an interesting semester.
Man I can't believe I took a huge dump in a public garden
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