Porn is love you can see.
Milquetoast, coolest word ever.
There is a banner on a house by campus that says "welcome to college dads. Thanks for dropping off your daughters!"
i convinced her i was a yoga teacher by showing her some warm-ups my high school track coach made up
Come help me clean. I know we won't be getting our security deposit back...but I would like to move out with our dignity.
I'm pretty sure this city writes new vice laws specifically because of us.
I got a thank you card in the mail from the virgin i slept with on the camping trip. Weird or the new classy?
He is really real. Like I know where he works, have referenced him with mutual fb friends and I've seen his dick. He's real.
If you buy me a steak I will make the extra effort to ride you. If not, I'm just gonna lay there.
I mean, it's just pathetic when the standard is tinder and he can't live up to it.
I'm playing trivia and drinking margaritas so now is not a good time.
I don't know what happened last night. But I just woke up in the high school boiler room
Dude we just exchanged Zelda related pickup lines. I fell in love at "you can blow on my ocarina"
At what point in a new hookup do you tell the guy you need to wear a mouth guard when you sleepover because of your TMJ? Asking for a friend.
He’s perfect! He listens to Genesis during sex and has a VW bus!
You really are from the panhandle, aren’t you?
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