brass monkey on radio. cant stop dancing.
You seriously don't know?He was trying to arrest you and you were shouting that you were being punk'd. Punk'd? that show got cancelled like 5 years ago.
I don't think he understands what an important role his penis plays in my level of self esteem
it took you forty minutes to realize it was a gay bar.
I think im drinking tonight later on...which is good cuz i walked pass the liquor aisle the other day and i swear i heard a kid call me a pussy
Ever since I told them the story of the sex in the canoe scandal its like I am in season
He turned down jacuzzi sex. He cares more about my vagina than i do.
The president of the frat said he was honored to award me "Best Overall Blow Jobs", free admission to all their future parties, and a $20 gift certificate to Denny's. I'm not sure if I feel proud or if that's just the burrito coming back up...
Also, what are the symptoms of syphilis?
Currently in the bathroom stall of a gay bar in new haven giving myself an anti throw up pep talk
It took years to build this empire of casual fuckings and not carings.
I'm using the Malibu pitcher you stole from the bar to make pancakes this morning. It's actually working really well.
Dead. I am actually dead. Also, worst nightmare confirmed: throwing up in a four hundred person lecture.
Oh I fucked him, definitely. We played Strip Halo.
Dipping my sugar cookies in a glass of fireball and creme soda. This is holiday spirit
He was tied up with the electrical tape and force fed wine from a box. It was never going to end well.
Randomize
