Dude I can't believe you let me go home with the wildabeast lastnight.
You always hook up with hot girls we had to know you were mortal
Yay Minnesota! I can't believe there's now a US Senator who has taken more acid than we have
Ok so the guy below me is either having sex very loudly or is very lonely
Katy Perry is on a Proactiv commercial. That "I kissed a girl" shit is so much less hot now.
Their car went through the first bag of wine on the drive up...clearly 6 bags was not enough.
he literaly had a hockey helmet on and was swan diving off the couch onto the coffee table.
The port-a-pottys are knocked over so I have nowhere to sleep.
Hey history final, how's it feel to be raped in the ass by my steel cock of ACADEMIC PERFECTION?
you are way too vulgar to be a girl
Just heard the words 'Pussy Riot' on NPR...I almost crashed my car.
I refrained from asking a guy what he spilled on his dick because it smelled good. Morals.
It's called being normal.
He's moaning and crying and coughing up something audibly liquid. I can't live in this house any more.
Took off my bra at the laundry mat to throw it in I am officially white trash
The typical response to someone smacking their vodka soaked hand on your face is not to put your face in their crotch
All I have in my new place is coke and a treadmill.. it's workout Wednesday
Is there a reason drunk me put drunk you's phone in the freezer?
Randomize
