he smells like the inside of heather mills' fake leg
YOU GOT EVICTED FROM A TRAILER PARK!?!? WTF!!!!!
You threw up. And every time you flushed you would wave and go "Bye Bye!" and then when the new water came you would greet it with "Helloooo!"
So you know how craigslist used to have an "erotica" section? And how after you click on a link it changes a darker color? And how Dad stays up really late most nights?
Oh god... well at least he's gettin some. Mom's a prude.
Changed my sheets. Found a can of rockstar, crushed bag of tostitos, used tissues, and enough of both of our clothes to make a whole outfit.
Sitting at a bar next to a guy wearing sunglasses drinking a pitcher by himself and having an argument with himself over if journey is more ballin than kiss. Feel better about myself.
I get drunk and say inappropriate things... you get drunk and sleep with inappropriate people. it's what we do.
I would also like to inform you that I can no longer lay on my back because my tailbone is bruised from the nightstand. Good job.
Shame should no longer be a word in your vocabulary.
Why is there not a 'day after acid' genre. Or even a pandora station or something.
puking in a sink with a garbage disposal Fucking. Rules. It's like you're punishing your puke when you're done.
his butt looks cute in my panties so i decided he has to wear panties all the time from now on.
Know anything about my roof collapsing last night?
Tequila.
So I just noticed that my last drunk google search before going to bed last night was "ghosts based on gays." I have no idea what that's supposed to mean
Um so I might have accidentally on accident maybe blew up the bottom half of your truck...
Randomize
