the guy I was hooking up with asked me if he could wear a guerilla suit during sex.
at some point when you're making out with the ex girlfriend of your ex fuck buddy who happens to be the ex boyfriend of the girl that you just got drunk with who was hitting on your current fuck buddy who is best friends with your ex boyfriend, it just hits you: oh my god i need to get out more and expand my social circle.
so he stopped for a second, looked up at me and said in a really creepy voice, "I can has cheeseburger?" and then went back to eating me out.
So we stole all of the newspapers out of the stands within a 1 mile radius and filled up her car with crumpled newspaper.
Who leaves their car unlocked at night?
Someone who wants to read the newspaper.
he asked if thats how we do it in the states..like there's cultural difference in fucking between canada and the us..
Is it bad that I was more upset about not getting the perfume he told me he had bought for me then the actual breakup?
he said that he wanted to outsmoke the rain, I don't know what that means but I'm gonna go help him
No one knows who he is but he hasn't missed a shot in beer pong yet. He's dressed as lance armstrong and is tearing shit up.
Okay I can't even be mad, I'm in mid-plot to hook up with Michael Phelp's third cousin.
With a few pieces of metal and duct tape and a bong was created
I took it upon myself to take one shot of tequila to have an excuse for hitting on my not-single coworker. It worked.
I'm developing all these feelings it's disgusting.
I was full on naked standing in his room and I just said "this isn't me" and left.
I taught three men with PhDs how to make a gravity bong last night. I love academia.
This woman at the blackjack table is sitting on a pile of newspaper so she can pee at her seat and never miss a hand.
Randomize
