I'm currently imdbing Helena Bonham Carter to see if there are any pictures of her that don't scare the crap out of me.
Good luck with that.
I wasn't excited about it either, but if I was going to have her take a load on her face, role playing as some french dude is the least I could do
Would it be inappropriate to do lines in front of the cable guy?
he's downstairs watching tv with my family... I called the home line so my mom could bring me my make up bag cause my real face would prob make him delete my number
Come on. I'll make you hot pockets. Literally and sexually.
I'm pretty sure the girl in the stall next to me is waiting on me to leave so she can poop but I'm doing the same thing so it's like a Mexican standoff
I didn't pop out of a cake in a speedo with diagrams
In case that's what u were picturing
Dude did I even see you at the bar. Cause I was for sure there then the next second apparently I was crying next to my Christmas tree because nobody believed in me.
Also I'm sorry for asking you to shave my vagina for me last night
There was a comma in between her and dick. I was calling you a dick. Jesus.
your were asleep with people making out on top of you. you didn't even look bothered by it.
Just want the two of you to know, I went to a golf tournament today. Respectable, expensive… Flipped the golf cart. Seriously, I'm 40. What the fuck?
There's nothing classy about a pregnant girl at a frat party...remember that.
i think it’s okay to see him. you just can’t wind up with his penis in your mouth again
I love millennial parents. One of the moms at the daycare center literally told me she and her husband named two of her kids after batman characters and one after game of thrones
Randomize
