thats the only time ive ever had sloppy firsts
All I remember is drinking vodka out of tupperware.
We were hooking up, both of us naked. She starts putting her clothes back on and says, "I have to go to the bathroom." I reply, "No you don't, you're leaving." Without hesitation she looks at me and says, "Yeah."
dude skip the party. it is a fucking post office here
what the hell does that mean?
nothing good but a whole lotta male and packages
Things got a little weird when he fired up his homemade flamethrower in the living room.
You insisted on take shots off of plates.
This is the last weekend of getting drunk and having sex all nite with the plumber. I'm exhausted all weekend and I'm never going to finish the remodel at this rate
The cops walked in to class and arrested 2 guys for possession.
After they flagged you, you hid in a bathroom stall and text me to bring you more shots. That kind of drunk.
Perfect. Let's do that. I'm thinking everclear and green dye as our base. We shud start from there
the dj asked me quote "are you sure you're sober enough to do this?" And I grabbed the mic from him and said "ill fucking show you sober- HIT IT". I also dropped the mic at the end so he had to come around and pick it up
Shania Twain would have been proud
I will turn myself into a beacon of get at me bro
My stripper pole led lights flash with the sound so it's awsome with music
This weekend I turned down sex to watch the Star Wars marathon... Is this growing up?
I threw up outside. Then I peed got off the toilet and threw up. While I threw up u pulled up my pants. Not my best moment
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