Bc you can definitely buy condoms if ur a 14 year old girl
Im going to bring a boy home tonight, and not tell him that I have my period. So when he tries to fuck me, I say no, and look really classy. Then he thinks I'm marriage material. So I give him head.
We were making out in the bushes when some dude comes and starts peeing beside us.
Why the fuck is the royal wedding at 4am. That is obviously not the most appropriate time to drink during finals. It's like I'm bound to fail, by royal decree.
It's been two days. My balls feel like watermelons.
she got kicked out of the bar for shoving german chocolate cake in the bartenders face. we were there less than a minute
Yeah dude I should be out of the ER in about an hr. They gave me vallium. Go tell the captain its time to set sail.
you called me at 4 in the morning and invited me over for pasta and a late night viewing of titanic.
"Bring the kids" is the most terrifying 3 words I've ever heard in my life.
My vagina bone hurts from grinding on that dude so hard.
So the contents found in my winter coats this year: coat 1, condom and 10$. Coat 2, condom and 75$ check. Coat 3, 2.05$ and a sunflower seed.
Obviously coat 3 had the best time since you used the condom and all of the money
Google imaged your anal issues. Seems fuckable still.
I just had a 10 minute staring contest with my dog. Can you come over?
Why would you keep yourself in a sharting situation
I just ate broccoli before drinking. Does that make me a responsible adult?
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