Theres a random in my bed. Omg but at least he's a law student?
So my mouth tastes like dick. Does that explain how our talk went?
I just got hit by a car. I'm fine; I'll be to the bars in about 15
Not even drunk me wanted to have sex with him. I kept intentionally hitting my head on the table behind me during sex till he said i was too drunk for sex.
Just woke up with 34 slim-jims in my pocket. Too afraid to check the others.
It's so cute when the exchange student uses "blowjob" as a verb.
yea i really dont care about the sex, i just want him to eat my vag. He has to be good at because of his tremors.
ur not supposed to find someone to make out with when ur bf takes u to his SISTERS house to hang out with her and her husband
Yes I slept with him, he was the only one not wearing a costume. Guys with costumes are just trying to impress you.
Would jacking off with Benadryl cream be good or bad for the poison oak on my dick?
Come to this bar
But I'm full of food.
MAKE ME FULL OF YOUR DICK
It's really hard to masturbate now that I live with girls who actually function before 11 am.
thought i saw a dude in a kilt yesterday, but then i realized he was doing a walk of shame. happy st. paddy's day.
My ex boyfriend just amazon primed me a vibrator...guess I seemed stressed?
I am real keen for none of this to be taken out of context so let’s just shut it down right now
Randomize
