She was drunk and kept trying to talk while I was in her mouth. It sounded like the teacher from a Charlie Brown cartoon!
i pounded out a 17-yr-old on saturday night
no, that is not a typo
i turned her down on fri night, googled the state consent laws & then caved on saturday
Is it weird being in the house without any roommates?
Nah, just masturbating louder
That's what you get for drunk dialing me to ask what kind of flowers I like while outside of a strip club, after telling me you "made it rain"
someone to text and fuck? since when does that constitute a relationship?
since 2006
Im cutting you off tonight ONE boy at a time
so far I've only met her once and hung out one other time. Up to 5 BJs already. That's serious efficiency.
Brunch got away from me. I might be a little high.
The walk of shame is a lot easier when I'm at a music festival and it's 12 feet from his tent to my tent
You are living the dream.
Girl, we were harassing people from the top of a building. I don't know how I got down, but I'm eating chocolate cake in my kitchen. Sall good yo.
I WANT PIZZA BUT I ALSO WANT SELF ESTEEM
BUT LIKE WHO AM I TO EVER CARE ABOUT SELF ESTEEM
I tolerate his mediocre drunk sex for the mind blowing morning sex. More than worth it.
I've had to take two showers today and it's not even 1 o'clock. Why won't this weekend wash off?
THIS FUCKNUGGET
DOES HE EVEN REALIZE HOW MANY INCREDIBLE INSULTS I'VE WASTED ON HIM
I'VE INSULTED THE EVERLOVING SHIT OUT OF HIM AND HE CAN'T EVEN APPRECIATE IT
THE HO
HE CHOSE A RESTAURANT AND MADE A FUCKING RESERVATION. I AM SHOOK
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