You can't wash away shame.
I can try.
You smell like stripper and shame
We sat in your minivan all night in a parking lot pretending we were in the magic school bus going to the sun
I think he was having a seizure but nobody knew because 'what is love' was playing
Does transporting jello shots count as driving with an open container?
my dad's beating me at drinking again. No matter what i do I can't win.
he just used "boss" and "boner" in the same sentence. I cant respond.
He sent me an email apologizing for sleeping with her...and by that I mean he sent a picture of his dick to my school e-mail
SARAH B AND I ARE GOING TO GO HALFSIES AND BUY YOU A CAT. IS THAT OKAY. TO KEEP YOU COMPANY DURING THUNDERSTORMS SUCH AS THIS ONE. ITS BECAUSE WE LOVE YOU.
Obviously a higher power wants us to be sunday drunk together
I woke up wearing a lax pinnie under my shirt, a triathlon medal, and a dora backpack... I think I had fun
time out. can we just pause the wholesome understanding friendship thing and be fuck buddies for a night?
we need a secret handshake
I always feel bad for the sober driver... Never been me but I feel bad... empathetic AF
Today, this cop risk his life to save me from a sink hole but all I could do is laugh, I was so stoned
He doesn't understand the concept of a strip club. He keeps falling in love
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