Bea Arthur died yesterday
You shut your stupid mouth
Betty White is next, I just know it.
Betty White will never die! She's like Dick Clark. Rue McCalahan is next.
My roommate still talks on AIM. What is this middle school?
Kinda felt bad though cuz she whimpered and shuttered a lot, i felt like i was kicking a puppy, only the puppy liked it and came a bunch
she has a picture of her daughter riding a giant rooster.. of course i want to make obscene cock jokes
I woke up to the sound of a beer can being opened. I love him already
Only time i ever look at my online banking statement is to see when i left the bar.
We just ended up getting drunk and doing field sobriety tests on each for practice... No one remembers who passed.
He was the one that got away. From my vagina.
Just smoked pot with a guy who has apparently been living in the woods for over a month. He just walked out of the woods. This is not real life.
Next Halloween I want us to dress up as jockeys, get drunk, and ride a carousel all night until we throw up or declare a winner
Have you ever just like not slept in so long that everything looks like a lava lamp?
I wouldn't say I LOVE Pacman. I mean, sure, I'd battle against you in an epic Pacman struggle for blow jobs and glory. But I mean, who wouldn't?
I don't think I have face palmed that many times in such a short period. And I've worked tech support.
Threesomes are not as fun as you'd think. I left with a black eye and I'm not sure who's to blame.
I think I had Hypothermia but was too drunk to notice.
Randomize
