Is it possible to be promiscuous but in a classy way?
So for Valentine's Day...I finally swallowed. I feel like I earned that steak.
It's like I paid NJ Transit $33 to suck his dick and go home. Fuck that.
Its what jesus would do if there were bud light in his time. I feel obligated.
Let me just inform you of my purse contents right now. Three cum rags, a sock full of cum, xanax, and a fake moustache. This is my life.
She kept saying 'I love you' but i couldn't tell if she was talking to me or to her beer.
whatever buzz i had immediately ended when i saw her run through a sliding glass door
you might as well be a hobo. you were covered in pee last night hanging out on the stairs drunk.
right. well we all have our lows.
He also informed us that it's rude to shove your tit in someone's mouth. Happy Monday.
I cant be sure, but i think ive been drunk in this church before.
I'm giving head in a stairwell, I'll be back in a few minutes. I'm so ashamed.
I'm highly inebriated watching star wars, this text was sent via the force
i have nothing going on in my life. unless a toxic love triangle with netflix and jack daniels counts.
So the revenge porn my ex posted just resulted in a contract with a gay porn company. I'm going to make $8,000 this weekend. That would a breakup checkmate. Are you joining me in the legislative committee hearing tomorrow?
My nipples are raw, I've yet to go to bed, I feel like death, and I'm at work. Thank you jack, crown, and Lafayette!
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