Why. Ill be the rabbit if ull be the carrot.
he pushed my hair back because he said it made me look like kelly kapowski and he told me to call him zach
drinking steel reserve before noon and watching the price is right... 211... bet i pass out before then.
I'm sitting by the window waiting for the sun to go down so that I can start drinking.
I swear he shrunk like 2 inches. Remind me that drunk sex needs to remain drunk sex.
if you really think there are plastic pots safe for the stove i fear for your future landlords.
Dude she looks like a female richard gere plus 400 pounds.
My stepdad and I just tag-team hit on a server at McDonald's. This is the man I should have grown up with.
i was debating whether to load antoher bowl when i realized i was holding a sandwich in one hand and a cookie in the other. and laughing.
It's been a year of occasional hook ups....this was bound to happen sometime even with your jank ovary schedule.
There's a whistle here and I just want to play my whistle song on it.
We will let tequila do the talkin this weekend
What color nail polish screams, "Either fuck me or get the hell out of my way"?
it was weird i started the party in just my underwear and woke up in my clothes
IDK if she's gay or not, but there is something about the way she looks at me that says "do dirty dirty things to me." I have no choice but to oblige.
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