I hate it when you make eye contact with someone bcs you are about to make fun of them and they take it as a hint to come hit on you.
I just blindly shoved it in. I'm still not sure which hole I got.
I just wanted to hook up with a white guy to prove that i could go back.
I think I just found part of a tooth on my bed... What goes on in here?
Sudden realization: I dumped him because he was too immature, yet I am the one who moved back into my parent's basement post-breakup.
I jumped on his cock in 2 seconds flat. Thanks mom for sending me to gymnastics when I was a kid.
They better compete for your attention. Dual to the fuck
i took four shots of tequila, threw my fist up in the air, then went around the party showing everyone how to do the ninja turtle handshake. that's the last thing I remember
I know it's like I wanna bring somebody fun who I haven't drunkenly expressed my feelings for. Or hooked up with. It's a struggle.
i just got hit on on the bus. Yes sir, because its every boys dream to fuck a forty year old with a face tattoo
He literally just patted me on the vagina and said goodnight to it.
Did this whole conversation happen while you were shitting?
I just need to get a little drunker before I realize I'm not straight
He updated Facebook... "Got a new phone today." WHAT ABOUT THE FUCKING KID YOU HAD?!
Throwing up in a storm drain... Not my finest moment.
But my shoes looked boss
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