I think condoms have that nasty latex smell to remind you in the morning of how gross you are.
The best part was that when i tried to chase her she ran off in one of those barbie motorized jeeps that little kids use and i chased her on a big wheel, thru lincoln terrace
I just found all of my Mary-Kate and Ashley movies. Can you say drinking game?
I don't know where I am but there are firefighters
Some girl next to me in class is making a list of whta to pack for spring break & it was a normal list until she put birth control in all caps w/ stars around it
We stole a cat. That is all you need to know.
So he might be the smartest man alive. He had the stripper pick him up taco bell on the way to the room for an extra 50 bucks.
I paid off a credit card today. And I was tested negative for HIV. AND I did laundry. Honestly, I'm most excited about the laundry.
Finals drinking + forgeting you had to take your ambien because you work at 6am mid paper= drunk logic which then entails going on a "detox" run. Puking your guts put in the field house bushes while some random guy says to you "its okay. We're marching on."
Congratulations, you've begun to unfuck your life.
How's my sex life is me mastubating next to her dog. that's how it's going.
Btw I'm playing passed out so you can get laid but obviously you need to take the offense just ask him if he wants to go to bed and leave a cigg on the counter
not being a booty call is very strange. Who knew there was so much time for activities at night!
I think I won an award for shitting and vomiting at the same time.
He's asking how tall I am he wants to make a body suit out of me
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