I wish i could go to google and type in drug dealers and it would bring up a number, a product and direction
watching E! true Hollywood story: curse of the lottery.. i'd probably spend all my money on blow and airplanes too..
I found it funny that her boobs actually kinda felt like a bag of sand. the 40 year old virgin should feel better about himself.
I found a picture of my kindergarten class. Now you can see whose peer pressure I succumbed to.
I vaguely remember taking a shit behind the shed before I started puking over the fence. No more Xanax.
My last google search of the night was "Things that cost $102.50"
So much for doing Irish car bombs in my grandpa's memory.... Asshole.
We were talking when all of a sudden she reach and started squeezing my dick and goes "nice." and then just kept the conversation going like nothing happened.
If we don't have crazy animal sex tonight at least twice, I'll know he's cheating on me.
Who wouldn't want crazy animal sex with you?!
A cheater.
well a fat roach just fell out of my hair. so there's that
He threw up on my head while I was blowing him, and then I started barfing, and the kitchen floor was a mess. Believe me, he will never, ever live this down.
Remember that time you puked in the middle of wendy's?
Yeah, why?
The staff still remembers me for cleaning it up. Thanks for the free frosty and fries
It was a glorious ass. He has amazing hands. I want to fuck him until he can't do math anymore.
Listen, i know this is weird for you, but as your fuck buddy, id prefer if you didnt fuck her.
Youre asking too much from me
when the cops came she just started yelling at them "Fuck the police! freedom of speech bitches!"
Randomize
