windsor, ontario is like a poor man's amsterdam
no, it is just poor
You can't date a girl from every country.
I'm the captain planet of women
is it sad that i think every plant i pass on the highway looks like a plant from farmville?
duuuude. vodka popsicles DO NOT function.
She asked how far humans have gone into a volcano because they did in spy kids. She was serious.
Well, it was good.. One step forward for my vaj.. One giant leap backwards for my integrity.
the last thing i remember was the norwegian kid tacking a bag of wine to the ceiling, then boom! shower drain.
I have lots of feelings today, but drunk is my favorite.
it's not like I want to die, I just want life to stop for a little bit. how does that work?
conclusion from last night: i should wear boob glitter more often
There's nothing more rewarding than telling you that I fucked your dad
I was thrusting to the beat of Felix Navidad..
I'm not gonna swipe right, he has better hair than me. Just no.
It's only 9 and these two girls are already walking around Walmart barefoot and holding their heels. WE NEED TO STEP IT UP.
I tried making my own red bull with crushed up caffeine pills, bubbley water and flintstones chewable vitamins. The ER doctor sead I'm lucky to be alive.
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