Damn I can't remmbre the last tome I had sobr sex
Um. I believe with my boyfriend, slut
Fuck. Wron person. But yea
When I'm drunk and can't pee, I sing my abc's in my head and try to pee before I get to pee. Last night I forgot to do it in my head
the fact that i fell through a skylight is the least humiliating part of the night
there was 12 of us, girls included, shirtless and wielding swords as we bet on rock paper scissors in the middle of the bar. It was like Cinco de Mayo version of the Deer Hunter
I peed on his girlfriend's loofah during our post-sex shower.
Ughhhh. Finnnneeeeee. I'll have sex with your brother. Sheesh. The things I do for you woman.
You went streaking and came back with your shirt inside out. Then said "it happens in the line of duty" and passed out.
We all have to be good at something. Mine are writing, drinking, fucking and peer pressure.
Please tell me there is not a bookmark on your browser with the title "Christmas Porn"
Mcnellies. I'm drunk enough that you have a window. Capitalize.
I don't want sex or anything I just really need someone to appreciate how shiny my hair is
you must be at least a level 5 friend to unlock my sexual orientation
Pretty sure I just scored Election Day sex based on the theory that if either of these fools win the world as we know it is over so we might as well get a few orgasms in...
Dude, they hit that lizard part of my brain that tells me to fuck people.
Preach sister.
Holy shit he’s stupid hot! If you don’t hurry up and make a move my ovaries are going to march over there and introduce themselves
Randomize
