i'll give you all the meat in my fridge in exchange for 2 condoms.
I'm watching Intervention to get pumped up for tonight
Where can I buy a trophy for a Groupie Award?
She had sex with a merch guy. . . band guys make you groupies, Merch guys just means she's easy.
And to think..we used to do everything sober...
he's doing fine. just headbutted the wall and threw up
The bald eagles cry cause u drink canadian beer.
My masturbation fantasy just had a wedding theme. I need new hobbies.
I'm going to take a nap so I don't feel like a stripper sneezed in my mouth tomorrow morning at work.
You serve our country by fighting in the sandbox, i serve our country by entertaining rich businessmans' daughters. We each do our part.
That rando I gave head to on the beach just endorsed me on LinkedIn for Oral Communication Skills. So there's that.
It was literally 8 o'clock in the morning. His horniness knows no bounds.
You just kept screaming "COME GET ME OFFICER, MY ALLIGATOR MEANS BUSINESS" while swinging a beanie baby alligator at him.
I just used my citation as a bookmark. Want a beer?
before i could order beers she was on stage 69ing with a stripper
The gyno waiting room is so strange because the pregnant woman next to me is making a PowerPoint of her pregnant photo shoot with her husband and I’m sitting here trying to figure out from Instagram who I had sex with on Sunday lol
Randomize
