i just saw a midget buying condoms and graham crackers. i wonder which was the impluse buy.
Just got mistaken for a cardboard cutout ad in line at Taco Bell. New low?
She calls her new ritual "bed, bath, and beyond crunk". Hence why I found her passed out in my bath tub this morning.
she refused to get out of the dog cage till we sang "be our guest" to her.
and I believe it was when I was running to class to take a test still drunk in my Halloween costume that I realized I have reached that point in the semester where I just don't give a flying fuck anymore.
Please come back. She just stuck her bloody band-aid to Zach's face, has a fire extinguisher, and is talking about tornados hiding.
The cop told you to put your hands behind your back and you slurred "I'm not falling for that again"
I would seriously fuck her so hard, her contacts would pop out of her eyes.
My dick can't jump between your dick and her mouth, man. It's impossible, I think.
I may or may not have just let Ash Ketchum capture my wild Pikachu in a parking lot.
The ecstacy made me so dehydrated I started licking condensation off car windows
I have aggressive nipples.
all i remember is slapping you in the face with a slice of pizza while laughing maniacally.
I NEED A MOM FRIEND. NOW.
i feel like a cleansing fire is the only way to purify the house
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