I think most guys look at porn as a fallback career. I mean I know I do.
well this feels familiar. awake at the crack of dawn laying in the fetal position praying for the sweet release of death. i think im done with jager for a while
Then we managed to set a grill and all 24lbs of meat on it on fire. I didn't help because I was filled with alcohol and extra flammable.
You were doing downward dog and puking off my deck at the same time.
He was completely serious when he said my boobs were like "majestic white clouds."
Tell your boyfriend I'm sorry for ruining his vein. I'm never drawing blood drunk again.
Screw it. I'll show up in a white dress with a sign that says " I fucked the groom and it wasn't that great."
My brother just woke up to see me on te couch dipping hamburger buns into pizza sauce. I'm beginning to question the life choices that led to this moment.
I will seriously deflate and melt into the floor into a puddle of devestation, shame and vodka.
He says he won't get serious until he screws an Asian and a virgin. I should just place an ad on Craig's List
Wanted: female 18-24 of Asian or partial Asian descent to fuck my ginger boyfriend. Must be willing and able to fake virginity. No emotional connection needed, just sex, just once. Further contact post sex not needed (or particularly desired)
Too much alcohol and too many lesbians. I can officially say I have regrets now. At least that's something.
Hon, I found you crying into a bathrobe in the back of a closet with a broken shoerack.
I already left my house once this summer. Maybe we could do something in October.
I have done everything sexualally imaginable with that umpalumpa
Remember the guy with the pretty voice that gave us crabs?
Randomize
